Make a jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't make it a home run.

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.

She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!

Why can't two Asians make a white baby?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

How do you make a blind girl smile? Leave the plunger in the toilet.

Make a wish.

Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.

Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!

I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.

I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.

How do you make a hormone?

Don't pay her.

I went, I saw, I poop at hole. I make a portal.

Two sticks only make a fire.

I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."

How do you make a juggler laugh? You tickle his balls.

I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.

What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?

"We are in the endgame now!"

How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.

A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"

The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."

How do you make a fruit punch?

You give it a pair of boxing gloves.

Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.

Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.

What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?

They both make a sound at the end.