Make a jokes

I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come home.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't make it a home run.

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.

She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!

Why can't two Asians make a white baby?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

How do you make a blind girl smile? Leave the plunger in the toilet.

Make a wish.

Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.

Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!

I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.

I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.

How do you make a hormone?

Don't pay her.

I went, I saw, I poop at hole. I make a portal.

Two sticks only make a fire.

I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."

How do you make a juggler laugh? You tickle his balls.

I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.

What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?

"We are in the endgame now!"

How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.

A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"

The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."

How do you make a fruit punch?

You give it a pair of boxing gloves.