One day i was texting my friend on roblox and i made her made her mad. she told me she was gonna kill me. that night she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 pm sharp. but she made sharp in all caps. so i went to the bathroom at pm the next day. now i know what she meant by SHARP on roblox...... she brought a knife and i was in hell by then. like for the next part!
Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.
The CCP should be pleased, Covid is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie 'Aquaman'. The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.Shame on you penaldo for destroying my dream
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets. This being the case, he ought to produce, direct and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad.” 👌 😉
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it
Yesterday I made food using oil- Olive oil (I love oil)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
you telling me Julius Ceaser, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
Bro yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this: *error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance* Anyone know what bird that is?
Jesus was drinking when he made you.
Your hairline is so crooked that it made will smith feel straight
my grand mother made her passage on the titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
Ps. My brother made this up when he had no meds.... I almost died 😅
What does ATM stand for........
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom
😂🤣
II harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye I rolled the dye. It made me die.
My teacher got so made at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and i said “damn, got hit twice”
Popular guy in class - I am so funny. Me - Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing on it.
