Love Jokes

My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.

"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."

- Joe Biden. (A.K.A Pedo Peter.)

So one time I was looking up the definition of accident because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me, and points at the word and says, “That’s you!”(meaning that I was an accident) A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you. But we still love you with everything we’ve got.”

My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly"

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

Ok so I know this is not a joke but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism your are still amazing you are lovely in every way and if people bully you don't lisn because they are wrong you are cute and I know how it feels I have ADHD and I get bullied a lot but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true people with autism stay strong you got this I will be your friend by heart Evan if it's not by person

Why hand holding is a couple thing? Because they touch each others genitals anyway.

What did one bee say to the other bee.

I love you honey .

Why can't a get a girlfriend? Because I'm an beta male simp

why do people enjoy orphan jokes! lol.... I LOVE IT >: )

What did the Queen bee of destiny child say? I'm so crazy in love...

Orphan: my mommy and daddy love me. Guy: were are they then? Orphan: in the eternal depths of

why can orphans go to thacker jewelry

they love to see the whole family

what do people have a shot at when it comes to love? shooting them in the heart

Cashew see I’m nuts about you!?

What are Teo things that an orphan can’t have...

Two parents

Night chat! Starts in 4 hours! Love Kenya! 😘

Bf:babe do you love me? Gf:of course,why do you ask? bf:i heard that your mom passed away and i went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up and then i remembered why i went to the garden