Love

Love jokes

Son

    • When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....

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    • Man

    • Coworker, why is Sara so blue?

    Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.

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    • Love memes

    Penis

    • True Story

    A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"

    The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.

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    • Orphanage

    • So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

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    • Luck

    • Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

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    • Teacher

    • I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

    Titty

    • I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

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    • TikTok

    • Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."

    Friends: comments give reason.

    Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."

    Day later:

    Mom: Let me see your TikTok.

    Me: Shows her the video.

    Mom: calls suicide.

    JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.

    Loss

    • Your grandmother died because she fell on the highest floor of the hotel. Your grandfather died because he got shot while saving your mother. If he didn't save your mother, you wouldn't be here.

    You grew up in a world full of viruses. You wanted the virus to be gone. There's only one way, but you have to know it. I can't tell it for you.

    Your mother got Covid-19. You prayed and prayed all night, hoping that she would be okay. The next day, the doctors went to your house without your mother. You asked, "Where is my mother?!" The doctors said, "Your mother is gone, so we came here to tell you." The doctors left. Another hour, you were thinking while crying, "Why was my prayer not working? Lord, why'd you let me down?"

    You searched on Google "How to bring back the dead." The Google workers declined it. Your father left you because he loved another girl. Your brothers are still with you, but what if they get the virus? Who will be with you?

    Don't forget Jesus is still there for you. Don't give up, keep going, and you will succeed soon. You will find your own family and beat the coronavirus.

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