My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
My dad and I have been playing hide and seek. It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
My Mum texted me she had lost her phone.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Why canβt Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
If you read this, you lost your v card.
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
Yo mama's so fat.. When Thanos snapped, she only lost a few kg
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" πππ
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
My friend David lost his ID.
Now he is just Dav.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
