Lost

Lost Jokes

Time

I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.

Mum

Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.

Vision

Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.

They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!

Theme Song

Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:

Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Movie

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

Atom

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

Dad

What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?

Your dad.

Case

Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.

Girl

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.

I want my first time to be special.

Election

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

Chess

Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.

Dad

My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.

It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.

Bill

Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.

When God gives you glory, you give it back.

Bus Driver

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!