Lost jokes

I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...

Hey, I misplaced 2.1 trillion a few days ago, on September 7th, 2001.

Why did the family move away?

Because they lost their son.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.

My ex died today.

I also lost my job as a butcher.

Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.

Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.

Yo mama's so fat, when Thanos snapped, she only lost a few kg.

Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.

Why can’t Americans play chess?

They lost 2 towers.

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?

Your dad.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

My Mum texted me she had lost her phone.

If you read this, you lost your v card.

My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.

It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.

Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.

They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!