Lost jokes
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
Hey, I misplaced 2.1 trillion a few days ago, on September 7th, 2001.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
Memes
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
Yo mama's so fat, when Thanos snapped, she only lost a few kg.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Why canβt Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
My Mum texted me she had lost her phone.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" πππ
If you read this, you lost your v card.