Lost jokes
What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
Why can't England play chess? Because they lost their queen!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.
The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?
Because it is politically motivated.
Memes
That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.
Why couldnβt the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!π
One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost 2 towers.
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?
Ian.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say itβs their harsh, economic expansion thatβs unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.