Lost jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.
A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.
A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.
Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"
Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
I wanna die cos I lost my horse on Minecraft.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?
He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
I quit my job at the bank today. I lost interest.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Why can't Americans play chess? Because they lost their 2 towers.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale? Because they lost their 2 towers.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."