
Loss jokes
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Why does a girl orphan want a boyfriend?
To finally call someone Daddy!
Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?
Because they lost their two best shooters...
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?
Nemo was eventually found.
