Loss

Loss jokes

Stephen Hawking

Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.

  • 0
  • Boat

    Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.

    Memes

    Shooter

    Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?

    Because they lost their two best shooters...

  • 3
  • Emo

    What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.

    Orphan

    What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?

    They are both nowhere to be found.

    Orphan

    Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

    Teacher. What?

    Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.

    Teacher. Why water?

    Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

    Orphan

    What do orphans call their parents?

    Unicorns because they don’t exist.

    Orphan

    Why do orphans work boomerangs?

    Because it's the only thing that comes back.

    Orphan

    Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.

    Orphan

    How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.

    Orphan

    If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?