Loss jokes
What store does an orphan hate?
Family Tree.
Why couldn't the orphan watch Spiderman? He couldn't find his way home.
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?
A: Because they actually come back.
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?
Nemo was eventually found.
What show does an orphan hate the most? Modern Family.
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.
What movie do all orphans find relatable?
Spiderman: No Way Home.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.