Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
Want to hear a joke about a guy losing fingers?
Never mind it’s too Pointless
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
Why did the Red Sox lose?
They say, "Boo, Colorado Rockies."
A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery.
boss: "We have to let you go."
surgeon: "I protest innocence."
boss: "How?"
surgeon: "I thought doing your job and saving people's lives were two different things."
boss: "Get out!"
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
When you are losing at Tetris, I guess the odds are STACKED against you.
I hate when I lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. Where do I lose my friends from Afghanistan?
In an explosion.
there is a ghost baseball game and one team loses cause of one player so they start boo-ing him!
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic. I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, ore lose it forever.
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
