Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
Look! An ancient African city!
From the makers of Timbukone...
To Gwen and Freshfry: Hi Gwen and Freshfry, you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. You are the people who I look up to. People are mean to us because I am adopted. Thank you for all of your support!
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
Guy 1: "Stop looking at my ass!" Guy 2: "I said look at Uranus." Guy 1: "I'm looking at uranus!" Guy 2: "I said Uranus like the planet!" Guy 1: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.
Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!
Yo mama so far, she makes the Statue of Freedom look like a 6-inch action figure.
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.
Donibobes is an owl. (hehe look up donibobes YT!)
Look at the bright side!
The worst is behind us.
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.
