Look

Look jokes

Indian

    • An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.

    It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."

    The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"

    The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"

    The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.

    Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.

    Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"

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    • Poop

    • Jeffy: "Daddy, Daddy, a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat!"

    Marvin: "I don’t believe that."

    Jeffy: "But he said, 'Jeffy, I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat!'"

    The next morning,

    Jeffy: "Daddy, a monster pooped in your hat!"

    *Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*

    Marvin: "Jeffy, I don’t believe you, you pooped in my hat!"

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    • Shit

    • A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

    He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

    He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

    He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

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    • Meat

    • Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

    Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

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    • Lightbulb

    • How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

    The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.

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    • Forehead

    • Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!

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    • Hand

    • I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

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    • Nun

    • A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.

    The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"

    The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."

    The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"

    The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

    At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."

    The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."

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