Longing Jokes

The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one

An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?" The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."

What's long black and sticky.

A stick

Gwen sassy: Hi here my credit card don't get it wet it is to much! Unknown: Okay! Gwen sassy: Man I am late can you move a long! Much! Unknown wispering: Sexy!

Theres a old lady doing gardning every year nothing grows she goes the the man who lives next door she sez how do you get your tomartoes so big an red he tells her you show them your privates at night time so she leaves that night latter she goes out side an shows the garden her privates the next shes got Zucchinis a meter long !

What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when i feed it to her? A miscarriage.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long?

Because his head is so high up in the air.

What's long, hard and full of Semen ?

Answer: Me

Your hairs line is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.

It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies”, I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point..they sure as hell aren’t real now!

mississppi is a long word. how do you spell it?

the poop on the bus goes poopoopoopoo AHHHHH! day long

your forehead is so big that mastermind thought you were his long lost brother

a neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. when i said "in the bed" my neighbor said, " oooooohh, how long is the penis?" i said wait here, and i interupted my parents while they were doing some "buisness" and asked my dad the exact question he said. then he spanked me.

Yo hair line is so long it makes the Titanic look tiny.

OFFICIAL

Pionnel Pessi's tracklist leaked !!!

1. Neymar gave me a career 2. Lewandowski finished me 3. 8-2 4. I own Elche 5. I am a fraud (ft Pyllian Mpappe) 6.10m 7.I fled La Liga 8. Want to be Ronaldo 9. Long live Bolivia 10. Wind man

There are two doors leading to Heaven: one for henpecked husbands and one for unhenpecked husbands. The line to the door leading to Heaven for henpecked husbands was five abreast and five miles long. The line leading to the door to Heaven for unhenpecked husbands consisted of only one lonely man. The guys from the henpecked husband line looked at the one man in the unhenpecked husband line and shout, “Hey, Charlie, why are you standing over there for?” Charlie glances over his shoulder and observes a sea of humanity of henpecked husbands as far as the eye can see and says grudgingly, “I don’t know. My wife told me to stand here.”