Little jokes

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

I didn’t know you could yodel!

An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"

Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"

What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.

5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"

There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.

Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.

Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.

After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.

When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,

You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"

Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

Addison Banks Age (8)

"I'm a little brat who won't shut the hell up! And stop talking!"

Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”

Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”

He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”

I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!

What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.