What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
I hope you see this plugin, but if you're listening to this, I really want to give you a little more...
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.
"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
Your mum is a baby, huh? Not a little baby!
Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?
Not Johnny.
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
I once masturbated in the bathroom.
I was looking for something, for a little help.
Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.
I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
You know what I told my little brother plane?
