Line jokes

A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.

What is an orphan's hated movie line?

E.T. phone home.

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."

What is long and black?

The line at Popeyes.

Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.

Setting: Funeral Home

Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.

Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.

Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?

Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.

Customer: Okay?

Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.

By: MiniMemorials.com

I have two things I wanna say:

1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.

2. wtf

Sorry for this Pick Up Line.

Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.

Will Smith slapped your hairline to space.

This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

Your hairline went so back, you had to cry to your mama!

Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."

Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.

Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"

Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭

Today there was a line to punch me.

Yeah, that was the punch line.

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

Charlen's hairline is sooooo fat because it was never brushed.

Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.