Line jokes
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
Immigration jokes just cross the line.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?” Why can’t he just speak plain English?
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics. They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.
Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.
That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”