Like jokes
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
Sy’kyira (😌): I can’t wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy’kyira (😅): SAME!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.
He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.
Heaven is like university: no one gets in.
Misogyny? More like misogelbow.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
Your hairline is so big, it looks like the TITANIC.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
I like to commit arson as a recreational activity, you?
One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."
His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"
Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.