Like jokes
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?
Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
I don’t like the term "rape," I prefer: "struggle snuggle."
At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"
I tell orphan jokes like there ain’t no parents around.
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
Why don’t clams like to share?
Because they’re very shellfish.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.