Like jokes
John, I like your cut, G.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Stop acting like an owl!
Ah (gas, gas, gas) Ah Do you like my car? Guess you're ready 'cause I'm waiting for you. It's gonna be so exciting. Got this feeling really deep in my soul. Let's get out, I wanna go, come along, get it on. Gonna take my car, gonna sit in. Gonna drive along 'til I get you, 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.
Don't be lazy 'cause I'm burning for you. It's like a hot sensation. Got this power that is taking me out. Yes, I've got a crush on you, ready, now, ready, go. Gonna take my car, gonna sit in. Gonna drive alone 'til I get you, 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.
Gonna take my car, do you like my car? 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.
Gas, gas, gas, Yeah, yeah, yeah Gas, gas, gas, And you'll see the big show. Ah
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
I hate this website. It sucks. Like if you agree!
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
My family is like a treasure.
You need a map and shovel to find them.
I done a thing where we have chat hangouts with people that like Gwen or just want to hang out, do stuff.
All people are invited!
We have a lot! Enjoy!
Why do orphans like to play Minecraft?
Because they like to have a home.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.
Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
Your forehead is so big, it looks like I did a drag back on FIFA.
Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"
Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.