Like jokes
My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.
Hey, I haven't been on for like 2 months. I don't know who is still on here or like if everyone left, but yuh, I just decided to come back. Hey.
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
Like (DYM 148).
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Memes
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.
It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.
I like pie.
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.
Humor is like food, not everybody gets it.
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"
You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
You look like you're playing hide-and-seek with your hairline.
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
😳
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
Are you a bull, because I wanna ride you like a rodeo.