Like jokes

A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.

Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?

Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."

Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?

Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.

Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."

We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

Yo momma's titty milk taste like Captain Crunch.

I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.

Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.

Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.

Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."

What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?

Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)

I only have a few friends, like if you relate.

Based on a true story.

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.

It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

I have no father. Like if you relate.

Deez nuts, can we get much higher?

Boioioioing boioioioing, my name Jeff.

Arabic Nokia ringtone, bingchungus, wholesome 100, everyone liked that, Keanu Reeves chungus, Ugandan Knuckles, YouTube poop XDDDDDDDDDDDD.

Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:

"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."

Anyone know what bird that is?