Like jokes
What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?
You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.
What song is the most annoying for a Serb?
Sweet Home Alabama (because it sounds like Sweet Home Albania)!
They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.
Your insults are like a blank bullet: a stupid and harmless joke.
What does a computer scientist do when someone tries to fight him?
He waves his arms like a space invader.
Are those tears real or are they like you? Fake.
Australia needs YOUR help!
ISIS brides are coming to Australia! They need to go back to where they came from. Help us before they blow us up like the terrorists they are!
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
Why are transgender people like confused kids?
Because they both don't know what they want to be in life.
Why are a majority of rape allegations false?
Because whores like to cry wolf.
What is welfare fraud supposed to taste like?
Bananas and Rice.
Q: What do Epstein and Dahmer have in common?
A: They both like to eat kids in and out.
Germans be like, “Guten Morgan.”
Bitch, that's not my name.
Autistic kids are like cats. Prove me wrong.
Down syndrome people are like dogs.
Prove me wrong.
What is fraud supposed to taste like?
Bananas and Rice.
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."
Mom: "No?"
"Like in heaven?" said the mother.
"No, juice," Sally said.