Like jokes

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

Like a work film, to take new in the center.

More good, Tar de Spring is the mill Murray Hurlowar Skelett Dwight Dowl - for its general help!

I like my women how I like my bacon.

Well Dunn!!!

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.

Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!

Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.

Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

Tell your mom I don't like waiting in queues.

You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.

Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.

I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!

Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.

Why do French people eat snails?

Because they don’t like fast food.

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.

What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?

When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."

"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."