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"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.

My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.

Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.

I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"

Why do Black people not like country music?

Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.

It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.