Like jokes
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought a donut was dough shaped like a nut.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.