Like jokes
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
101 pedo jokes.
Why's everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, it's called women taking advantage, you'll shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who don't admit they're like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why don't you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, I've been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, I know what's going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jealous coz your drink tastes like shit?
Is it coz your shit though? How many bids have you done? Shit 1 million views, don't try bribe me, did the police give me snip? How's my barbie doll or shall I say my little pony? The police beat fuck outta me, what's all these needle marks on my arm, I can tell you want something, why's everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web.
Keep it going on lol.
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
You're so poor you stink like poo-poo in your doo-doo.
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.
Well, it really do be like it shouldn't, but it is.
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? The 9/11 terrorists went through like 78 stories in 7 seconds.
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
What did Saskia say to Brandon?
Saskia: "Can you rape me like you did Sydney?"
What's small, has no dad, and looks like Bugs Bunny?
Ben after he trips over the giant curb!
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"
An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, "You look like a million pounds!" The wife divorced him.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"