Like jokes
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
Good night, boys.
I like goodies.
What song does Saturn sing?
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."
I like penguins.
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody likes that joke.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
Your nana gay, just like you, and you're made of atoms, nerd.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.