Like jokes
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Your mom is so ugly Biden likes her.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
I go beep like a Jeep.
Why did Saturn have rings?
Because God liked it so he put a ring on it.
Orphans more like or fans!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
The Rock, more like the Rockpot! 😂😂😂😂😂
Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?
Answer: Because they already ate.
A, B, C, E, F, G. You smell like a baby. Maybe you should not be "Hati-ey."
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.