Like jokes
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?
Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
What's the difference between a drill and a priest?
Nothing, they both like screwing stuff!
What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?
A sex-a-phone.
Michael Jackson is like if a Barbie doll and Bruno Mars had an ugly child together!
I'm jk btw Michael Jackson was amazing!
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
Son: Daddy?
Dad: Why tf do you keep calling me daddy? You're 11 years old, feminine gay hoe.
Son: Whoa!? Daddy, what's that?
Dad: Wtf are you talking about?
Son: Your dick has gotten more tastier?
Son: Ooh... I..... Just.... Wanna.... Sssuuc
Dad: Oh nope, I'm not having a gay hoe's fiend in my house, no quit looking at my dick, you need some pussy.
Son: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww nooooo plz no plz
Dad: Shut the fuck up: ehr em
Mom: What the fugde is going on?
Dad: Our son's a gay bitch.
Mom: Language! So? I need to teach him how to like a girl huh?
Dad: Yes Ma'am, plz.
Mom: Okay. Herman, get your gay ass in my bed but naked, I'll be there in 10.
Son: wha whey huh ur gonna... wtf?!?!?!??
Mom: Quit cursing, I'm gonna fuck u extra hard!!
Son: Ewww, I'm gonna fuck my mom even though she is hot sexy but eeewwww.
Mom: Shut it!!!, or I'm gonna recordid and *fliped her hair taking off her panies (pussy naked)* and show this to ur gay fuck friends!
Son: Huh
Son: Mom FUCK U*
Mom: Okay baby I'm gonna fuck u in a minute lemme tak my bra off
Son: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH
Son: Moms are the worst, are they?
Me no there not sometimes but i love them teheheteheh
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................