Like jokes
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?
They both talk like they're on fent.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
How do you know you had a gay cookout?
All the hotdogs taste like ass.
Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra bars and dough!
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.