Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Lifestyle Jokes
What is a group of emos called?
A funeral.
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
There was an emo kid in their room, boom, they're all gone, now.
What do apples and emos have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang off trees.
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
What makes emos jump?
Bridges.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
Like this if one of your family members is emo!
Who left him hanging?
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still falling.
Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.
Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"