Lifestyle jokes
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
What do Emos say to each other?
"I like your cuts, G."
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Can emo kids get a happy birthday?
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
What is a group of emos called?
A funeral.
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
There was an emo kid in their room, boom, they're all gone, now.
What do apples and emos have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang off trees.
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.