What food has an orphan made?
Homemade food.
Red, black, blue. The colors of life.
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving livesππ
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
Thereβs a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.
My dignity to live.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone Iβve known.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh life?
I did a good walk, and I did a good job of it.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.
Dee.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
