Life jokes
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
What food has an orphan made?
Homemade food.
I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
Life is like a penis. It is short.
Red, black, blue. The colors of life.
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
Life is like a bag of jellybeans.
Nobody likes the black ones.
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!