Life jokes
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
Hey, Kenya, what is your favorite song?
"Lonely."
Hope everyone is having a good day! ❤️
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
You could hold your breath for the rest of your life.
Think about it.
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.
Have you heard about kids with AIDS?
It never gets old.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
Who wants to laugh about life with me?
-->[]life death[]<--
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
Murueurx.