Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home", they only had one option
Life is like a penis. It is short
Why are life and penis alike? Women make both of them hard.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh life?
My dignity to live.
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
Murueurx.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
You could hold your breath for the rest of your life.
Think about it.
Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
