Life Jokes

When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.

Josh:tell me something funny Mark:my life

What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

--> I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

--> I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

--> and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

-->and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful

Unknown be like: Wah wah I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better...what a shame.

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

I am trying to re comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here. Here are some rules to make a good joke: 1: don’t say “my life” 2: proof read your joke, and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it 3: And don’t re post things (although this last one is hippocritical because this was me trying to repost something but it is still a good rule to go by)

Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her? I really hit the mother lode with you.

me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls of of a cliff uses water bucket trick ) dies

Has anyone alive ever died?

Is this our eternal life?

I am not making a noose I am making a unsubscribe button for life.

ATTENTION EVERYBODY: I am the owner of this website and i will be deleting it in 5 hours. Thank you everybody who has participated in this websites life. Goodbye

Whats the difference between a dad and an Emo? they both dont last awhile

I could be red I could be orange I could be yellow I could be green, I could be blue I could be purple but I would be dead

I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!

Me and my friends life story on a dialy basis

KAROLIENS LIFE

People want to be nice to each other, because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.

Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕 and the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!! comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄