Once there was an old lady...
Congratulations, stop bragging!
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
What did the tree do to the emo? Left her hanging.
What's worse than dedicating your life to build back the towers? Doing it and getting terrorized for it...
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
Orphan, they're enough of a joke.