Letter jokes

Why do orphans hate the letter FMD? Because F stands for "family," M stands for "mom," and D stands for "dad."

Me: I'm afraid of random letters.

Therapist: You are?

Me: [screams]

Therapist: Oh, I see.

Me: [screaming intensifies]

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!

Why are S and U never thirsty?

They drink tea (T).

A... B... Sea?

There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.

Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.

Time for double joke Tuesday.

What is a bird's favorite letter?

A C gull.

So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.

Kid: You're a dick, you know!

Me: And you're a pussy, you know?

Q: What's a conspiracy theorist's favorite letter? A: Q.

370HSSV 0773H wait, you're reading it upside down.

Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

Chapter 1. "Kid teacher"

Mrs. Lewis: Class, I want everyone to look at their textbooks and find a reasonable essay topic. My suggestion is page 232 or 678. Now, this essay counts as the final grade for the semester. Now do it, or you will repeat 5th grade again! Now turn to page 100, and we'll start reading from there. Do you all understand?

Neilela: Yes ma'am, quick question, we don't have to do it today... do we?

Mrs. Lewis: Yes! It is today!

Andrua: It sounds boring, and all I have to do today is be a big jerk who gives way too much instruction.

Mrs. Lewis: Anyway, let's get to work.

56 hours later.

Mrs. Lewis: Kids, when I call you, please tell me what you liked about your essay. When I call your name, Carl.

Carl: Why me? Yes?

Mrs. Lewis: What did you like about the story, Carl?

Carl: Um... I liked it when... um... um... um... um...

Jeklen: He didn't even read the story because he's too busy trying to look up the letter "J" and its meaning!

Carl: Jeklen, shut up and stop biting your hair.

Jeklen: At least I know what the letter "J" is.

Mrs. Lewis: Class, please listen. Carl, did you read the story that I asked you?

Carl: Well, not really because you were the one reading it in class, so...

Vronica: For real!

Carl: Mhmmm

Mrs. Lewis: Listen class, this homework needs to be done today! DO IT!

Kimbriel: Ms. Lewis, I have a lot of questions about tonight's homework.

Mrs. Lewis: Yes?

Kimbriel: You assigned so many things just for a little test! What?

Mrs. Lewis: I need a break! Peyton, you're in charge!

All students: NO, NOT PEYTON !!!!!!

Peyton: Me? In charge? Of the class?

Jessica: Wow, but you're all about the boredom!

Peyton: Shut up! yeeeeeeee

Peyton: Ms. Lewis, there must be a mistake, how can I be in charge? I'm 11... I think...

Ari: To think that yesterday she thought she was 8 years old.

Oh sorry... I think.

Mrs. Lewis: Have you ever heard of a teacher's vacation?

All students: That's not a thing!

I never heard of it...

Mrs. Lewis: Well, me and Ms. Sumrall, we are going on a "teacher vacation", we can do it because we become calmer, or we don't get angry at the students. AND WE CAN DO IT!

Khloe: Why?

Mrs. Lewis: Because I am an adult.

Ms. Sumrall: Is Petrina ready?

Ms. Lewis: Yes, thank goodness for this!

Kenya: Bye? "Chapter 2" To be continued...

How do bees go to school?

They go on a school buzz.

Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?

Because all the other letters are not Z's.

What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

What did the O say to the O? "O hi O!" (Ohio)

You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.