Length jokes
What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
What's 12 inches long and begins with a p?
A shit.
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
What is 6 inches and long?
A Slim Jim.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to go through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven."
The first guy says, "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times." The angel gives him an old model pick up. The second guy says, "11 years and only once," and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says, "20 years and not once. I loved her with all my heart," and with the angel impressed, he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later, the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says, "I know we are dead, but it could be much worse."
The guy looks up and says, "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard!"
You may have a footlong, but I have a SHENLONG. :)
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
It's too long, sorry. >:)