-Attention To Everyone-I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because i was in a bike accident or more like a motorcycle I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause well you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.
I DO NO UNDERSTAND WHY PPL ARENT SCARED OF SPIDERS. i mean like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987t388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 2386486775957t8590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes. i saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK IM GONNA SLEEP IN THERE????????? nope. im moving to japan. KOONICHIWA
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother. My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
You stink
As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins:
Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still.
Devil: Did she just twitch?
A: No. She didn’t twitch.
D: I think I saw her finger twitch.
A: Well, even if it did, it’s her thigh the techs are aiming at.
D: She wants to scratch her face.
A: Stop it! She can handle staying still a few minutes.
D: But her cheek has an itchy spot.
A: She can just let it itch. She doesn’t need to scratch every itch. She will just have to think about something else.
D: Wow...that cheek is really itchy...
A: Think about: Flowers. Acrylic painting. Did the trash get picked up this morning? Her grandson Oliver’s smile...
D: How about a song?
A: Good idea!
D: How about... “Never going to give you up. Never going to let you down....”🎶
A: OMG! You just Rick-rolled her! She’s in the middle of a treatment! You know that’s the only part she knows!
D: That’s okay. She’ll just repeat the words she knows over and over and over and....
A: Don’t be so mean!
D: “Never going to give you up...🎶”
A: Stop it!
D: Her toe! Her big toe! Did you see that? She just twitched it!
A: No, she didn’t.
D: I bet it screwed up the test and they have to start over....
A: She didn’t screw anything up!
D: She totally screwed the test up and they were more than halfway done. If they start over at the beginning, she will get too much radiation, and they will end up slicing her whole leg off!
A: That’s not how it works...
D: Or they just stop all together and she only gets a partial treatment and her tumor won’t get enough radiation.
A: They know what they are doing!
D: ...And it won’t shrink the tumor and the whole thing fails. And the doctor will have to amputate her leg.
A: No! No! No! That’s not how any of this...
D: ...And when they amputate, it will be at the hip and not below the knee because the tumor is in her thigh.
A: Stop this right now!!
D: “Never going to give you up....🎶”
A: Stop!
D: “...never going let you down....🎶”
A: I’m not going to let you...
D: “Never going to give you up...🎶” .
Techs: Okay. That’s it, Tammi! We are finished! How are you doing?
Tammi: ...Oh, I’m fine.....
why did the wheels not move on his wheelchair.... because he had no leges
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon. 7_What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind
Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally
If I were to cut your legs off would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" "of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms"
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says "Oh what chest!" " That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says "Oh what legs!'' He says "That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says "Why were you running?" She said I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
daikon legs
A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.
The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".
The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.
*Principal:* What is 3+3?
*Boy:* 6.
*Principal:* 6+6.
*Boy:* 12.
The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Grade 4 immediately. The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.
*Madam:* What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?
*Boy:* Legs.
*Madam:* What is in your trousers that I don't have?
*Boy:* Pockets.
*Madam:* What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?
*Boy:* Coconut.
*Madam:* What goes in hard & then comes out soft & sticky?
The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge
*Boy:* Bubble gum.
*Madam:* You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.
*Boy:* Tent.
*The principal was looking restless*
*Madam:* A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.
*Boy:* Wedding ring.
*Madam:* I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?
*Boy:* Nose.
*Madam:* I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.
*Boy:* Arrow.
*Principal:* O MY GOD.
*Madam:* What starts with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if you don't get it, you've to use your hand?
*Boy:* Fork.
*Madam:* What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?
*Boy:* Surname.
*Principal:* Ohooo !
*Madam:* What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?
*Boy:* Heart.
*Principal:* Eeeeeh! The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, "Send this bloody boy to the university. I myself got all the answers wrong!"
what has legs but cant walk...dont know?A paralyzed person;))
Why did the cookie go to the hospital .........because she was crummy what did the toilet say to the other toilet .........you look flushed what has 1 head 1 foot and 4 legs ...........a bed
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
