Left Jokes

So 2 kids argued and insulted each other...

KID 1: Your dad left because he didn't want you so why don't you kill yourself?

KID 2: Well your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you.

one day the teacher said "there are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. how many are left?" the teacher calls on lil johnny. "none" the teacher said ''no but try again'' lil johnny says " none bc if u shoot one the rest get scared and leave" the teacher said'' not quiter but i like the way you think" lil johnny then says " alr teacher i have one for you. there are 3 women sitting on a bench, ones sucking it. the other its licking it, and the last on is bitting it. witch one is married?" the teacher then says "the one sucking it ofc" lil johnny then says "no the one with the ring but i like the way you think"

There was a mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three. 1-2-..... and he left without a trace.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature

What did they give Elmo before he left the factory. Two test-tickles

whats steven hawkings favourite meal? his left shoulder

women deserve rights and lefts

a e-girl went to go high five a tree but the tree left her hanging

What happend to the depressed kid who tried to high 5 a tree. Answer- He was left there hanging.

Why did the leper fail his driving test? He left his foot on the clutch

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222) so she went to the the doctor on 51st street (6922251) and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless

why cant orphans celebrate christmas - father christmas left them

Friend: hi orphan Orphan: tell me a yo mamma joke Friend: ummm Orphan: exactly U can't Friend: yo mamma so disappointed she left

Dads secretary left her position, he tole me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.

Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out? The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.

what makes a child an orphan?

their parents left the for good :D

John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.