Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
At least someone chose Pikachu.
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
I was invited into a celebrity's house, that's what I told the cops at least...
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
