Lay's jokes

Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.

A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.

Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys? "Devil-ed" eggs! 😆

So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.

And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?

You after you disrespect me.

What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.

What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.

Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"

And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"

Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."

The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."

Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"

Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."

Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...

THE END

Why did the rapper become a plumber?

Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!

What do you call a hippo that lays eggs? A eggoppotimos.

Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.

What type of chip can orphan's not eat? The Lay's Family Size chips!

You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.

Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!

What do you call a black couple who's on welfare and food stamps?

Lay-Z and Freeyonce

She was only a potato chip manufacturer's daughter--but she was Frito-Lay!

What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!

Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?

Because he is Stephen HAWKings.

When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.

Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.

Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"