Stock jokes
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
I you know what i mean
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.
What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?
Nothing, they both crashed.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
Doin (DYM 11).
Doin (DYM 15).
Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.
Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Saw that shit on Roblox.