New Law Enforcement Jokes - Page 2

The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,

honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.

Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.

The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.

"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.

The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.

Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."

What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?

"Orange is the new black."

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

2023- my dad is a cop.

1800- my dad owns your dad.

I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.

He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.

*I have seizures*

Yo mama so fat, the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her.

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."

"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"

A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.

what do you call an autistic police officer? special forces

What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?

With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.

What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?

Pigs in a blanket.

Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...

Well nvm, they shot him dead.

Me, calls the police*

Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!

Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.

Me: Why, so you can then stop me?

Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!

Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!

Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!

A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.

"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.

"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."

The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"

She said, "Not everybody paid."