What do orphans and police not have in common?
The police can actually go home.
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
Why does the orphan do robberies?
Because he wants to be wanted.
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.