Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
Law Enforcement Jokes
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
Yo mama so stupid, she told the police a kid raped her.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
Why do orphans play GTA?
'Cause they're actually wanted.
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
