Law Enforcement jokes

When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.

Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).

Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!

Why does the orphan do robberies?

Because he wants to be wanted.

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.

I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.

Your dad left you because he went for milk.

*1,000,000 years later*

Her: Dad come back!

Him: FBI open up!

What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?

The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.

Yo mama so stupid, she told the police a kid raped her.

What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?

The pig smells better.

Why do orphans play GTA?

'Cause they're actually wanted.

I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"

I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.

What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?

"Get to the ground, beef!"

What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?

Serial killers are wanted.

There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.

These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.

Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?

It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.