Law Enforcement jokes
"Police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
Damn, that joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
I wasn't planning on going on a run, but those cops showed up out of nowhere.
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
Why does the orphan do robberies?
Because he wants to be wanted.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
Yo mama so stupid, she told the police a kid raped her.