Last Will Jokes

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I still remember my grandpa's last words, "Stop wobbling the ladder, you cunt!"

I'll never forget my Grandad's last words... "Son, where did you get a grenade from?!"

A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."

I will always remember my dad's last words....

"15 dollars and I'll jump."

Who laughs last, laughs best.

A child is smiling while holding an uno card. The text on the image says "Happiness is temporary". The child is playing uno.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.

Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long for fat people.

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)

You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.