Language Jokes

The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.

You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”

*Apple bottom jeans plays*

Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?

So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.

Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.

"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.

What do you call a Russian man with three balls?

'Whodya nikabollokov'

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.

If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. Why? I don't know Y.

Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."

Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!

A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”

Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.

I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.

Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."

The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"

"Nein," said the old man.

What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?

A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!