Language

Language Jokes

Sentence

The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.

Knock knock

You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”

*Apple bottom jeans plays*

Funeral

"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.

Ball

What do you call a Russian man with three balls?

'Whodya nikabollokov'

H20

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.

Word

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."

Daughter

A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”

Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”

Math

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.

Man

An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."

The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"

"Nein," said the old man.