Language jokes
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.
Why was 10 scared of 9?
Because 9 8 7.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. Why? I don't know Y.
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!