Language jokes

The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.

You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”

*Apple bottom jeans plays*

Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?

So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.

Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.

"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.

What do you call a Russian man with three balls?

'Whodya nikabollokov'

Why was 10 scared of 9?

Because 9 8 7.

If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?

Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."

Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. Why? I don't know Y.

A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”

Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”

Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.

I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.