Language jokes
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.
Why was 10 scared of 9?
Because 9 8 7.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. Why? I don't know Y.
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.