Language jokes

The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.

You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”

*Apple bottom jeans plays*

Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?

So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.

Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.

"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.

What do you call a Russian man with three balls?

'Whodya nikabollokov'

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.

Why was 10 scared of 9?

Because 9 8 7.

If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. Why? I don't know Y.

Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."

Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!

A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”

Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.

I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.

Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."

The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"

"Nein," said the old man.