Language jokes
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
What has a dog?
People.
Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"
Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"
Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"
The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
Hrhfgsfabcke then the other guy said, "Potato."
You take four, then you put a "n" at the end, then you take the "u" out, then you replace the "f" with a "p". What do you get?
What starts with "N" and ends with "G"?
Nothing.
Pastor: I don’t normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!
Say: Eye Spell: Map Say: Ness
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, you're a poo.
What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".
What is your name?
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
What did 0 say to 8?
"Hey, nice belt!"
Hello.