Language jokes
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I did app.
I did app who?
You did a poo.
Your (DYM 76).
Spell IHOP, then say "ness."
What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."
What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.
That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)
Random guy: Do you know Dee?
Other dude: Who’s Dee?
Random guy: Dee Snuts!
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
What's the difference between "ooh" and "aah"?
About 3 inches.
P.S. Please comment and like!
Why was eight afraid of seven? Because 7, 8, 9!
对不起,我是卧底。
(Duìbùqǐ, wǒ shì wòdǐ.)
Sorry, I'm an undercover.
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.
You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."
...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
Maybe Soy Milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish! (Soy means "I am" in Spanish).
Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!
Nerverack.
How do Mexicans begin counting?
Juan, Two, Three.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.