Knight

Knight jokes

Ruler

  • As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”

    DAMN YOU PESSI!

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  • Mobile Phone

  • Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

    A: He gave her a ring.

    Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?

    A: Knead for Speed.

    Q: Why is Santa good at karate?

    A: He has a black belt.

    Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

    A: Beast Buy.

    Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

    A: Let’s stick together.

    Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

    A: So he could use his drumsticks.

    Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

    A: Figure skating.

    Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

    A: Beast Buy.

    Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

    A: Let’s stick together.

    Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

    A: So he could use his drumsticks.

    Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

    A: Figure skating.

    Q: What’s a firefly’s favorite dance?

    A: The glitterbug.

    Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?

    A: Because they always make-up.

    Q: Where do roses sleep at night?

    A: In their flowerbed.

    Q: Why was the shoe bad at gymnastics?

    A: She was a flip-flop.

    Q: What should you wear to a tea party?

    A: A t-shirt.

    Q: What’s rain’s favorite accessory?

    A: A rainbow.

    Q: Where does a sink go dancing?

    A: The Dish-co.

    Q: What’s a princess’s favorite time?

    A: Knight time.

    Q: Why did the Genie get mad?

    A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.

    Q: What’s a ballerina’s favorite type of bread?

    A: A bun.

    Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?

    A: Hip hop.

    Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?

    A: Shop ‘til they hop.

    Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?

    A: She nailed it.

    Q: What is corn’s favorite music?

    A: Pop.

    Q: Why can’t Monday lift Saturday?

    A: It’s a weak day.

    Q: Why was the politician out of breath?

    A: He was running for office.

    Q: What is a soccer player’s favorite chemical element?

    A: Goooooooooooold!

    Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?

    A: He was a cheetah.

    Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?

    A: Pennsylvania.

    Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?

    A: Inside.

    Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?

    A: He forgot his lawsuit.

    Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?

    A: He crashed the computer.

    Q: What’s a ball that you don’t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?

    A: An eyeball.

    Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?

    A: Shells.

    Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?

    A: In the fall.

    Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?

    A: Because he knew he would pass.

    Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?

    A: Because it was flat.

    Q: Why didn’t the farmer's son study medicine?

    A: Because he wanted to go into a different field.

    Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?

    A: Pi.

    Q: Why was the princess in the emergency room?

    Battle

  • What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.

    What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.

    Baseball

  • Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

    1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

    3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

    4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

    5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

    6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

    7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

    8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

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  • Pi

  • The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

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