Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo
How do you kill a retard
Give them a knife and say “who’s special”
After having a win at bingo Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea..... During the meal her daughter asked her mum what it was to which she replied with a little smile...'Its what I call your father'... Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin 'Oh My God Dont eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
What's common between a feminist and a knife? They both stay in the kitchen.
Me: wanna play a game Sister: ya, what is it Me: tic tac toe Sister:? Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve Me: tic tac toe
Q: What's the best way to carve wood? A: Whittle by whittle.
* sans at sans favorite restaurant* Sans: hey frisk what do you eat today?
Frisk: one knife plz
sans: ok one knife plz
Waiter: you eat a knife?
Frisk: yes
* waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: here you go
Frisk: thanks you
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point
whats flat and great for cutting? me
Guy: "can I tell you a joke?" Spiderman: "yes" Guy: "you only have 11 months on your calendar" Spiderman: "why" Guy: holds up knife* "because I murdered May"
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words
Are you getting the knife
Knock knock “ who’s there?” knife “knife, who” how are you still alive? I just stabbed you.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
Making a comforting breakfast But you have a knife.
