A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low and the cliff was non existent and now you took the poison !"
Dad: I heard and actor killed them selves with a knife, it was Reese something. Mom: Witherspoon. Dad: no with a knife you dummy.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
dudeeeeeeeeeee if u stabe a cereal box will that make u a cereal killer?
Are you a knife? because i want you
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing? A: A knife has a point
Roses are red violets are blue I have no balls neither will you 🔪🔪
I downloaded fruit ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself
Helllo. What can I get you a knife mustard Marella gorilla
Q:What's the difference between a knife and razor blade? A:Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange
It came precut
Hang in there ya Emo bastards! Remember you could always be dead, oh too soon?🤣🤣
No wonder they wanna die so much, I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veils Brides!🤣🤣🤣
Anybody got a knife? I mean an Emo dildo?🤣🤣🤣
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.
One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!
So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."
I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.
"what's that on your wrist?"
"I'm a cutting board. duh"
There’s a woman cutting onions who is her husband walks in and starts crying onions was a good dog
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents? They cry... They scream.. with joy "Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents" Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didnt live to tell the tail...
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
