Kids jokes

What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.

Why can’t you trust an emo kid?

'Cause they always leave you hanging.

What famous book writer for kids loved insects?

Beatrix Potter.

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids won't eat the broccoli.

Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.

Prankster kid: Knock knock.

Neighbor: Who's there?

...

Kid 1: "It's a bird!"

Kid 2: "It's a plane!"

Me: "It's a terrorist!"

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?

Shoot kids in them ;)

The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.

*School Shooter Walks In*

That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

What does an emo kid say to his best friend?

"Let's hang out."

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?

Father's Day.

I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.

(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)

Kid: Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who's there?

Kid: Not your parents.

Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.

When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.

Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"

So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.

Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."