Kids jokes
"Akeld" sounds like a 56-year-old man just picking on kids for no reason. I say, get a life!
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
What do you call something that eats kids?
An upset mother.
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.