Kids jokes
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
Memes
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.